Dear Family and Friends,
As we prepare for the arrival of our daughter, we have learned that while decorating the nursery and stocking up on baby essentials is important, even more important is the emotional health of our baby. In her short life, Ella will have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults could handle. Imagine how much harder the changes will be for her. While she may not consciously remember the events, she will still experience immense loss, including feelings of grief and trauma. She's already experienced the loss of a birthmother and will soon experience the loss of familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of her birth country. Her world will turn upside down. She will struggle with feeling safe and secure and may lack the ability to trust that we will meet her needs.
We have prepared to meet Ella's emotional needs so that she does learn that we will always take care of her and we will always keep her safe. We need your support. In order to form a strong and healthy attachment we will allow her to regress so that she has the opportunity to go through all of the emotional stages with us despite her chronological age. Although it may appear that we are spoiling her, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. Until she has learned that we are her parents, we will need to be her primary caretakers at all times. It is essential that we always hold her, feed her, and do all of the nurturing. You may wonder how long this will take, but the timeline is different for every child. We will follow Ella's lead and trust our instincts as her parents rather than worry about what society expects.
We have all been waiting anxiously for our daughter to arrive but she has not been waiting for us. She may show her grief and confusion in many ways and we are prepared to help her through it and prove that we are a forever family and this truly is her last stop. We trust that as our family and friends you will help us to do what is best for our daughter, and we thank you in advance for your support and understanding.
Sincerely,
Rob and Laura
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4 comments:
Nice post. Keep posting. Ella is a great name. I believe I had a great aunt named Ella. Yes, in fact we used to visit Earl and Ella. I'll look forward to meeting her.
Jim
Can not wait to meet my niece. Will respect your wishes and give her time to adjust as well as you
Very well said. The long,long wait is almost over and your journey as a family is about to begin.I am very excited and looking forward to welcoming my new granddaughter,Ella and will do whatever is needed to help in her transition.As Ella's parents only you can decide what is in her best interests and I will abide by your wishes,wants and needs. Love,Mom and Ella's Gramma
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